What do people think of when I say, generational trauma affects kids…? Do they say, “I’m trying to protect you from that” like a parent would state….? Or would they declare their innocence and think that it’s not their fault for bringing it into the housee…? Maybe it could be the feelings that the kid has when they’re alone in the room, knowing that the drama could have been fixed beforehand. These questions include the emotion of confusion, disconnection, dissociating with the family. All these can lead to kids wanting to walk away or even wanting to know why it’s happening to me and is it happening to anyone else. As kids and adults we keep moving forward with our lives not knowing what we are secretly facing.

In a research study it claims that, “The first step to identify generational trauma is to ask the client to talk about their family history, including their relationship dynamics and how their family interacts with each other and the world around them.” This study was made by a therapist that graduated college. Even though the word generational means close to family, this claim just shows that generational trauma is narrow and only specifically focuses on one thing. But in order for kids to understand why this trauma is occurring. We have to start at how our grandparents act during our parents’ upbringing. The only way we can possibly hear about our parents’ upbringing is if we trigger it or they trigger it on their own. Our parents will go through an emotional feeling of nostalgia. It could be negative or positive. Which is why we have to observe their expressions on their faces. Everything that your parents go through is PTSD and trauma. Can their trauma and PTSD carry on to you? YES. Yes it can because of how they react to any of your behaviors or things you do.  “In some cases, children of parents with PTSD may find themselves taking on more responsibilities than is typical for their age, which can promote maturity but also lead to stress and resentment.” From a book called Turning The Tide: parenting the way of past trauma.

Us kids have heard, “I’ll give you something to cry about”, “I’m going to wash your mouth out with soap”, “How many times do I have to tell you”, “GO TO YOUR ROOM!”, “ No game for a mouth”, “ I’m giving you the wire”. All these sayings have been brutally said to our parents when they were younger. To sum up, Rebecca Woulfe, a parenting mentor, educator, and author of The Gift of a Punishment-Free Childhood said in her book, “Some parents discipline their kids the way they were disciplined. If they were spanked, yelled at, or given strict punishments. Our parents are more likely to repeat those patterns unless they choose to break the cycle”. This is why communication and understanding is important in so many ways. Which is how it can lead to PTSD within our parents. It all depends on how their parents felt at that time. Each kid feels something before it happens. They can sense it like a spiritual connection to different situations. Which is why kids tend to come to you when you are frustrated or feeling down. Kids can sense a lot about us as individuals and don’t see it until we understand the word PTSD.

Now to fix this If it gets too heavy to bear, you can try family therapy or therapy on your own. In a book called Essential Skills In Family Therapy by Joellen Patterson. He states that “to start at where the issue is being rooted, you have to introduce the anxiety of why you don’t want to open up about that certain situation and how they think it will affect the others. Including talking to the other family members one by one to get their concerns”. In the book Why People Seek Psychotherapy. “ This is talking about why it’s important to seek therapy one on one, this is for when you think that what’s going on with you should be spoken to by a person you know that wont try to solve you but to mentally help you and only you know what you can do to help yourself.” 

In conclusion, there is a lot more to say about this topic but, I’m still studying about generational trauma through my psychology classes. But there is professional help, there’s nothing wrong with communication and asking for help when you feel like there no where else to go. It is challenging but just understand that there are more people out there that are going through the same thing.

Last

The Carry Of The World

What do people think of when I say generational trauma affects kids..? Do they say, “I’m trying to protect you from that” like a parent would state….? Or would they declare their innocence and think that it’s not their fault for bringing it into the house…? Maybe it could be the feelings that the kid has when they’re alone in the room, knowing that the drama could have been fixed beforehand. These questions include the emotions of confusion, disconnection, dissociating with the family. All can lead to kids wanting to walk away or even wanting to know why it’s happening to them and maybe if it happens to anyone else in the world. As kids and adults we keep moving forward with our lives not knowing what we are carrying on our backs. That pain, that fake smile, the parents misunderstanding you, your parents giving you attitude even though you were just trying to talk to them, the saying one thing at a time even though in your brain we do so many things at once. All these statements are things that kids go through and even our parents have gone through in their own lifetime. So we’re going to walk through a path of how us as kids can understand our parents better.

In a research study it claims that, “The first step to identify generational trauma is to ask the client to talk about their family history, including their relationship dynamics and how their family interacts with each other and the world around them.”Counseling today . Even though the word generational means the history of family, this claim just shows that generational trauma is narrow and only specifically focuses on one thing. But in order for us as kids to understand why this trauma is occurring toward us through our parents. We have to start at how our grandparents acted during our parents’ upbringing. The only way we can possibly hear about our parents’ upbringing is if we trigger it or they trigger it on their own. Our parents will go through an emotional feeling of nostalgia. It could be negative or positive. Which is why we have to observe their expressions on their faces. Everything that your parents go through is PTSD and trauma. Can their trauma and PTSD be carried on to you? YES. Yes it can because of how they react to any of your behaviors or things you do. This book that’s going to be stated shows the behaviors the kids gain while the ptsd or trauma is happening. Turning The Tide: parenting the way of past trauma by Jana Pressley,The book  “In some cases, children of parents with PTSD may find themselves taking on more responsibilities than is typical for their age, which can promote maturity but also lead to stress and resentment”. Now, here is more that our parents have used on us that may also affect us.

“I’ll give you something to cry about”, “I’m going to wash your mouth out with soap”, “How many times do I have to tell you”, “GO TO YOUR ROOM!”, “ No game for a mouth”, “ I’m giving you the wire”. All these sayings have been brutally said to our parents when they were younger. Like Rebecca Woulfe, a parenting mentor, educator, and author of The Gift of a Punishment-Free Childhood said in her book, The book  “Some parents discipline their kids the way they were disciplined. If they were spanked, yelled at, or given strict punishments. Our parents are more likely to repeat those patterns unless they choose to break the cycle”. This is why communication and understanding is important in so many ways. Maybe this can make us think about how our parents are treating us all because of their past. Our parents were like us, they were kids once too and just like kids, kids feel something before it happens. They can sense it like a spiritual connection to different situations. Which is why kids tend to come to you when you are frustrated or feeling down. Kids can sense a lot about us as individuals and don’t see it until they mature in life.

Now to fix this If it gets too heavy to bear, you can try family therapy or therapy on your own. In a book called Essential Skills In Family Therapy by Joellen Patterson. He states that “to start at where the issue is being rooted, you have to introduce the anxiety of why you don’t want to open up about that certain situation and how they think it will affect the others. Including talking to the other family members one by one to get their concerns”. In the book Why People Seek Psychotherapy by Joel Paris. website  “ This is talking about why it’s important to seek therapy one on one because when you are one on one with your therapist, you will feel less possessed to speak based on if your family forced you to go to therapy or even if someone tells you, you need help. You’re not going for them, you’re going for yourself, you’re doing it for yourself .” 

Currently I have to say that I have covered many topics about generational trauma. But there is one big topic that none really thinks of how generational trauma affects the world. There are about 8,253,024,952 people that live on this earth and about 362,737 births, 172,975 deaths daily. This world is able to cradle that many people. Doesn’t it make you think how much a human brain can capacitates…?  Our brain can hold the whole world so what makes many think that we as humans can hold so much irritation, a type of depression, suicidal, can lead to DID ( identity dissorder, and multiple identity dissorder). In compassion each and every person goes through a phase of PTSD and or traumatic events in their lifetime. In contrast to this, depending on the type of situation that the person has faced  each person may suffer a different symptom based on the traumatic event. What you can try next is to embrace it and love it just as much as you hate it. In the long run generational trauma doesn’t only affect you, it affects everyone around you. We just get exhausted from the non-stop nag of that disapproval feeling from the family, ourselves and even your ancestors because we feel like we weren’t good enough for our  parents or even for the family as if you don’t really actually belong in the family. Generational trauma is a past experience that is compacted with so much intertwined with each other and it just continues to branch out through your parents and to you, your step brothers and sisters and even your step- mom and dad, to your children even, to their kids. An endless circle which is why we have to be careful of what we do around our kids and how we see ourselves because everyone can see it. It shows by the way you preserve yourself.

In conclusion, there is a lot more to say about this topic but, I’m still studying about generational trauma through my psychology classes. But there is professional help when you need to seek help. There’s nothing wrong with communication and asking for help when you feel like there is nowhere else to go. It is challenging but just understand that there are more people out there that are going through the same thing.